A Quick Note About Camping

Dear people who like to camp,

Please tell me what it is that draws you to camping, for I feel that I'm missing something?!! Is it the joy of laying tarp and constructing your own rudimentary shelter which blocks out little noise or bugs and lacks all the modern amenities such as toilets and air conditioning? Is it the feeling of constructing said tent while sweat beads trickle down your nose and off your face, ooze through your pores til all layers of clothing and undergarments are drenched, or the mixture of sweat and bug spray which creates a fine new cologne of some sort?

Is it sitting under the stars, away from the city, and listening to the sounds of all of God's creations (because that part almost got me), until I retired to my "home away from home" only to realize that I needed to visit the shower house (i.e. restroom) again, but missed the opportunity before the 4-5 hour steady rain began to fall. So...it must be the feeling of accomplishment when you "pull an all nighter" purely because you couldn't go to sleep for the sound of the rain continually reminded you of how badly you needed to pee?!? Once I decided to make the drive to the aforementioned bathhouse, I pondered if this is what you love? Sharing facilities with cicadas, roaches, moths, flies, gnats and every other flying creature known to man. Is that it??

Or perhaps what you love most is the sun rising as your natural alarm clock? Or setting off for a float trip with your family, friends, and many interesting "neighbors". Maybe reading each of their tattoos? Counting their missing teeth? Watching how many of them float drunk and alone with their personal floatation device while yelling obscenities at your children (or their imaginary friends), or float drunk and not alone yelling obscenities at each other. Maybe it's the success of helping said rowdies find their long lost drunk floating buddy whom they'd left alone to fend off the vicious rocks attacking his "nuts" and the logs that strapped him in place while we were reminded of "just keep swimming, just keep swimming" in Finding Nemo.

Or...maybe it's the chance to learn how well you and your spouse handle challenges like twisting through rapids and falling out of your canoe, or getting stuck on logs and watching each other try to create strategies for navigating off the invisible obstacle. Or...watching the domestic disputes taking place in canoes that pass you by (probably stemming from similar sticky situations that we found ourselves in.

Or lastly...maybe it's the chance to hang out with friends in a different environment, spend time away from the t.v., phones, and devices that won't get a signal there anyway, and just be one with nature. Yeah...I guess that works for some of you. However, unless I hear some really persuasive arguments...I'm going on the theory that there are people made for camping and people who are not. The person who got an hour of sleep and is now heading off to shower in the comfort of my home before jumping into my pillowtop mattressed bed, in my air conditioned home (pretty much bug free I hope) is not one of them. I tried it. I can check it off my list, I enjoyed the company of our traveling friends, but with all due respect...won't be doing that again anytime soon!!